V/H/S

Seeing as I can't review this film as a whole, I'll just write my entire opinion on each of the tapes.  But here's an overview.  While a couple of the tapes are easily good and very creative, there are some that set it back.  I can't say that I truly hated this film because I knew not to expect anything special, but I can safely say that this was the best found footage film ever, which is a shame.  This film is directed by 4 or 5 directors.  I know most of them, like Adam Wingard (You're Next), Joe Swanson (Drinking Buddies), Radio Silence (Those "alien pranks gone wrong" videos on Youtube), and Ti West (The Innkeepers, House of the Devil).  It's pretty safe to say that I knew what to expect since West is the only director who did something good.  So, I watched it and I personally loved this film more than any of those stupid Paranormal Activity films.  So let's begin.

Tape 56

Easily one of the worst of the set.  Tape 56 is about a bunch of thugs trashing up some parking lot before doing a job.  They enter an abandoned house where an old guy lies dead.  Apparently, they aren't so worried about someone walking in on them with an old guy, so it doesn't matter.  There, they find the old guy has a set of V/H/S tapes, and no, none of them are porn.  They watch it and we see what they see.  This is the only thing that connects all the tapes together so it sounded interesting.  The execution is flawed.  It's main flaw is the fact that the only thing creepy about this is the little static.  There is no tension and it really sets the film off on a low start.  It doesn't help that after every tape is finished, they go back to this uninteresting drivel.  Then, they attempt to use a pop scare with music.  Yeah, way to keep things realistic guys!
2/10

Amateur Night

This one is easily the second best out of the bunch for me and for a very simple reason: It's the most unique out of all of them.  Amateur Night is about 3 frat boys who go to a bar to get lucky.  There they meet a chick, who is very strange.  The trailer already spoiled the big twist in this one for me, so I knew what to expect.  Sure, the guys were unlikable, but I didn't care because I was really intrigued by everything going on.  It definitely was one of the better tape out of the bunch.  It also had some very great gory scenes, so if you don't like that type of stuff, stay away from this tape.....and the 3rd.  This was the funnest horror movie experience and this reason why this one also pissed me off was because the rest of the film (minus one of the tapes) were just disappointing.  Ugh, why couldn't you be any good?
6/10

Second Honeymoon

This was possibly the one I was very interested in watching for a while.  Mainly for one reason: It's directed by Ti West.  Second Honeymoon is about a couple who go on their second honeymoon.  Soon, they notice that someone is watching them from a distance and every time at night, someone is videotaping them sleeping.  The night scenes were pretty creepy considering how it freaks me when someone watches me sleep.  However, most of this segment is practically nothing.  They just videotape their honeymoon and that's it for the first 9 minutes.  Then, the twist was stupid and it all fell apart from there.  You can skip the rest of this segment review as it will be a spoiler.  So, his wife was in on it?  So she was married to this guy for 2 years and then admits she's lesbian?  And her lover was touching her with a knife in a very threatening way.  That's so stupid.
4/10

Tuesday the 17th

Okay, scratch what I said about the wrap around being the worst.  This is the worst segment in the film.  So, a girl and her 3 generic teenagers, who are all lined up to be slaughtered, go to the woods for a totally tubuler weekend!  It all turns bad as they find out that a digital killer is hunting them down.  The thing that killed this segment for me was the absolute generic approach.  It completely is nothing for that another teen slasher flick, no matter how cool looking the killer looks.  The special effects are okay, but it doesn't save this film at all.  The acting is easily the worst of all the skits.  Seriously, how do you mess up acting like a bunch of sex-crazed idiots?  Apparently, it is possible.
0/10

The Sick thing that Happened to Emily When She Was Younger

Okay, for a second, I literally thought this would be good.  It seemed pretty creepy and it had a nice format (Skype, which was ripped off by Paranormal Activity 5)  So it was a decent idea.  This tape is about a girl who is in a long distance relationship with her boyfriend, so she calls him.  However, she notices weird things going on in her body like an itchy arm.  Soon, she sees things which look like spirits running amok in her home!  It turns out to be bigger than she expected.  The execution on this one was decent.  Nothing special, though.  The ending is probably what ruined this one for me.  It set up too many questions that wouldn't be answered, and it really made me angry cause it makes no sense.  It has a few decent scares, but plot-wise, it's a fail.  At least it was a definite improvement over the last one, which was terrible.
4/10

10/31/98

This is the best of the bunch of mediocre skits.  10/31/98 is directed by Youtube group Radio Silence, who specialize in horror-comedy shorts.  This skit is the funnest of the bunch, mainly cause everything is hectic.  This one is about a group of friends who are gonna go out to a Halloween Party.  They make their way to the house, which is deserted.  Stupidly, they think everything is a joke until they realize that they didn't walk into the right house.  Instead, it's an actually haunted one.  This tape works well because it's the fastest paced.  Whereas all the other ones took their time to get to the horror stuff, this one starts off the very minute it starts.  They hold nothing back and it's easily the funnest of the bunch.  Considering that I'm a fan of their YouTube work, I had a feeling that this would be the craziest.  However, there is one stupid moment when the characters just derp out and it seemed forced just to keep the horror going.  Also, the special effects were just spectacular!  I couldn't believe it was on a small budget.  Easily the best of all the tapes, this is the only worthwhile tape.
7.5/10

Overall, V/H/S is nothing spectacular, but it is the best found footage film I've seen in forever.  Most of the tapes are either really dull or just flat out stupid, but the two that start and end the film truly makes this a decent film.  I'm not sure why so many people fell in love with this film because it isn't nothing spectacular.  It's just nothing too bad.  Also, whatever you do: Avoid Tuesday the 17th!  It is the worst of the tapes and you really don't need to watch it to get the other ones.  Amateur Night and 10/31/98 are the only worthwhile films, but nothing else.  It's disappointing that Ti West, who brought us House of the Devil, had one of the lesser films.  At least, his and "The Sick Thing"  were the two tapes that weren't either good, nor bad.  Just mediocre.  All in all, I thing this score balances the film out perfectly.

4/10